and I just can't sleep. I have a whirlwind of stuff in my head and I rather surf the web or watch TV, instead of tossing and turning in a dark bedroom.
When we moved to the US almost 5 years ago, it really was a dream come true for us. My hubs got transfered by the company he was with at the time, and we were over the moon.
I was finally pregnant again, we were so excited to come live here and start a new life and family... Just peachy all over.
A few months ago hubby lost his job, completely out of the blue and under very bad circumstances. It has been really hard for us, but our families have been incredibly supportive, so we've been able to get by all these months.
But, the new job just isn't coming and we very well might have to leave in March, if nothing comes along by then.
I have been living in a silent terror ever since the threat of having to go back to Mexico, became more and more real.
Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my Mexico, but it's just not a good place to live in anymore. The crime rate is insane and my life as I know it here would be over.
You cannot do many of the things you do here in the US freely and without fear, and I just can't think of having to bring Natalia into that, when all she's known is peace and a normal, happy and safe childhood.
We were robbed and held up many times during our years in Mexico and I lived in absolute fear over there most of the time.
After the last time my passenger window got smashed into pieces with me in the car during a red light, I just hadn't been able to function normally anymore, until I came to Miami.
To top it all off, I might have to leave my little apartment that I love so much, to move into another place with a roommate. I am NOT happy. Really, NOT.
I had been praying so hard for a while, asking for this situation to get resolved, but I'm just so tired. I don't have the will or the faith to do it anymore. I feel completely helpless and my hands are tied.
I debated a lot about posting this or not, but I do consider you all my friends and I had to vent.
I love happy posts full of pics and cheery cool stuff, but I just don't have one in me right now.
Thanks for lending and ear (or an eye).
I am sad and tired...